By Charles McClure
news@ltview.com
On a recent weekend, my wife and I slipped out of our house around 3 a.m. to visit our son-in-law, who was in Central Texas training for yet another tour of the war-plagued Middle East.

We only had a few hours before his flight to visit and we weren’t about to miss the opportunity. Even though it was the middle of the night, when he saw us at the airport, his smile could have lit even the darkest room, which tells you a lot about his personality.
He is a quiet, measured man who has become pretty well what I expected when I introduced him to my step-daughter more than a decade ago (I don’t think of her as “step” anything and that’s the last time I will use that reference). He’s funny and a joy to be around.
When I first met him, the boy had a habit of languishing around my office, where he worked as a youth, staring at a photograph of my daughter. I have to admit, she’s “quite the looker.” And so is he, for that matter.
I would periodically catch him gazing at her picture and at first it was really quite comical. Yet as I grew to know him, I saw that he was a person with deeply held ethical values. Bluntly, I came to admire him. His father, a former Marine and my direct supervisor at the time, had trained him in Martial Arts since he was about five years old, which had translated into a discipline seldom seen in younger folk. All that training had also chiseled a physique that is as close to that of a Greek god as anyone could imagine.
For all his talent and good looks, he was, at his core, simply the most humble human being I had ever met. So one day I asked him if he would like to meet my daughter [since my son-in-law is leaving for overseas duty, their identities will remain nameless for security reasons].
“Would you do that?” he asked excitedly.
What can I say? I knew they would click from get-go, and indeed they did. They have been married now for about a dozen years and have two beautiful boys — the most spoiled grandchildren on the face of the planet. Shortly before they married, he joined the military.
It goes without saying that I am very proud of both “my boys” who serve in the military, and we whole-heartedly supported their decision to join. My (step) son also has also been deployed at least twice to the Middle East.
The two boys made fast friends. They are more like brothers than in-laws, and that is quite cool indeed.
Repeated tours of duty in a combat zone isn’t just tough on the soldiers, it is difficult for the entire family, particularly their spouses. The more times they are deployed, the harder it gets, particularly since both have small children. Six months or more without a daddy or a husband is a long time.
However, I know one lieutenant colonel that has been on constant deployment for seven straight years. He has a seven-year-old daughter who has virtually never seen her father. He will retire this summer after 27 years and I have promised his wife [a friend from church] to help with his transition back to civilian life. I will probably call on a few of my retired military friends when he comes home.
So as we wished our son-in-law off at the airport, the tears flowed and we offered our prayers up to God for the safe return of this fine young man who has become “our other son.”
I then spent much of the following day with the lieutenant colonel’s wife and daughter at a community event I emceed. A military life is hard enough in peacetime, so our conversation naturally centered on the adjustments that military families must make in the face of war.
My own daughter is trying to cope with being a “mentor” to the younger wives whose husbands are leaving for their first deployment. She has always held up very well under the strain, but I know how hard it is on her — yet I can’t even begin to imagine what seven straight years of deployment does to a family.
Those of us with loved ones who are in the military fighting these wars are a pretty small segment of the population. The burden of these wars is not widely distributed nationally. And we don’t hear a lot on the news about what is actually happening over there, unless, of course, the news is bad. Worse still, I sense there is a national apathy concerning the wars. So it is only natural that a bit of a fraternity emerges between military families.
In recent months for reasons I don’t even understand, I have felt a growing affinity for how the families of Vietnam veterans must have felt. Perhaps these feelings are rooted in the length of the conflicts. Sometimes we can’t help but wonder if this will ever end. Maybe we also share a certain sense of isolation that has crossed the generations. Whatever the reason, I increasingly rely on and identify with my friends who served in Vietnam.
All of these feelings just strengthen our family bonds. I stand amazed at my son-in-law. He has grown into such an outstanding man. He just takes all pressure of deployment in stride, channeling all of his thoughts and actions into being a wonderful husband to my daughter and a doting father for my grandkids. Someday I have dream of buying a bit of land all of or respective families building homes within walking distance — that’s how dear they are to my heart. I suspect they might mean a little more to me because I never had biological children. This is the family God assembled for me, so I understand just how rich I am. Neither my son nor daughter ever displayed any contempt upon my arrival in the family, they just welcomed me with open arms, and a few practical jokes. They have made my life complete. They are my kids, my friends, my confidants. And their children ARE my grandchildren.
I would have you know this: These men and women who have fought and are fighting all these battles since 9-11 are truly the best and bravest among us. Know that we, as families, are proud of their service.
So I count the days until I can see the sweet smile of my precious son-in-law — one of my boys.